How to Talk to Your Child About Online Safety

Children who talk with you regularly about what they do online are more likely to come to you when something goes wrong. That is the main message from Australia's eSafety Commissioner, and it matters more than any setting or app.

In short

Start early, keep it ordinary, ask and listen, play together, and make it safe for your child to tell you anything.

5 ways to start

Start early and keep it ordinary

No big sit-down talk needed. eSafety suggests narrating everyday moments, like looking up an address or sharing a photo, and explaining what you are doing. See It’s never too early to start talking about online safety.

Ask, then listen

Ask what they enjoy and who they talk to. With teenagers, listen first. Reacting with shock or anger teaches them to hide things.

Play and watch together

Joining in helps you see why they like an app or game. Keeping devices in shared spaces also makes check-ins natural. See eSafety’s online safety basics.

Make "tell me" safe

Your child should know they can tell you, or another trusted adult, about anything online that feels wrong, without losing their device for telling you.

Teach them to think

Encourage children to question what they see and hear online, and to check who people really are.

Conversation starters

If someone online asked you for a photo or your address, what would you do?

Um, say no?

Exactly. Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable in a game or chat?

Once, but I blocked them.

Good thinking. If it ever happens again, you can tell me. You won't be in trouble.

Helpful to say

"You can always tell me."
"Thanks for telling me, you did the right thing."
"Let’s work out what to do together."

Best avoided

"That’s it, no more games."
"How could you be so silly?"
Taking the device away as punishment for reporting a problem

Different ages, different talks

Under 12

Keep it concrete

Privacy, strangers and kindness
Check with you before sharing or downloading

eSafety guide: 0 to 12 year olds

13 to 18

Respect independence

Consent, pressure and image sharing
Who is on their "safety team"

eSafety guide: 13 to 18 year olds

If the conversation is hard

Many parents find these talks uncomfortable. eSafety's hard-to-have conversations page has help, including conversation cards. For emotional support, young people can call Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. Playing Roblox? Read our Roblox safety tips.

Tools help, but talking comes first. Apps like KidShield can set limits and alert you to some things, but they can't replace a child who feels safe telling you.

Frequently asked questions

When should I start talking to my child about online safety?

Early. ESafety suggests starting with everyday chats about what you do on screens, long before your child has their own device.

What if my child won't talk to me?

Keep it low-key, ask open questions, listen first and avoid reacting with anger. Playing or watching together can open the door.

Should I punish my child if something goes wrong online?

Avoid cutting off access as punishment for telling you. Children who fear losing their device often stop telling you about problems.

Source: advice summarised from the Australian eSafety Commissioner (esafety.gov.au). We have paraphrased it in our own words; please visit eSafety for their full, up-to-date guidance.

Want one app for both iPhone and Android?

KidShield Family gives you screen time limits, app blocking and a location view for each child from a single parent app. Your first 7 days are free with no card, then start a 14-day free trial.

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Parental control tools assist parents and are not a substitute for talking with your child and supervising their device use.